Had a great chat with all my loved ones.

thanks people!
all the while i have been blinded. yes. love is blind.
i blinded myself, seeing the good sides and ignore the bad sides. I am just like that. setting traps, putting in 75% of real feelings..etc. i know all of these. but for fuck i do all these?
Tiring, physically and mentally. Most importantly, i am really looking for TRUE love. someone who always be in his 100%, be it effort or care and concern.

I certainly understand Martin doesn't. He is just too careful about every moves. but the carefulness leads to something negative. He is yet to release himself fully to someone, hence he is not the one. He is not ready for all these.

Seeing him going clubs with jansen or rather karmen blah blah blah surely make me feel he is not the one for me. Thanks for expediting my move-on process. I instantly laughed when I saw the pictures seriously. Why? Because I know she cannot be compared with me. Or rather, its difficult to find someone like me eh? Find a GOOD girl who treats you right and willing to suffer with you. This will then make me heartache. Flirting with other girls with lower standard just make me laugh.

Try getting a girl better than me. (:

P.S. It is fucking difficult because nobody can win ms. sibeiawesomezmmxyz (: