hmmm...

what should i write in this post?

well...
first..about my dear friend orange..
breaking up is miserable..
he reminds me of my first love which is like years ago...HAHA!

it isn't easy to get over..unless u are not into the relationship in the first place..
flashback of the sweet memories kills..
loneliness,emptiness is what u will feel every single night...
sentimental and emotional songs will be your daily songs..
it just dont feel good...
everything seems to be so meaningless...
hah!
i've been thru these several times...
proud of it? no..
im totally sick of it..

that is why i stop getting into relationship so fast..
it is amazing that i remained single for 10-11 months..
usually i will get attached quite fast after each relationship..
that is because i did not see and observe properly...
who is the right guy..
who is the suitable guy..
nope..
i go by feeling and intuition...
that is so wrong..
i dont deny relationship need feelings..
but i guess being practical is better..
whether the guy really suits you and your style of living, on par or higher status than you, good family background in the sense of happy family instead of broken family...i guess it all matters alot to me now..

i used to go attached with a guy without thinking of all these questions..
i believe the guy will work hard for me and love me forever..
i believe we will have future..
i believe we will live happily ever after...
yes..for every single bf i had..i did that..
damn..
im damn stupid and dumb...
this aint a fairytale...
without education..at least have his own business or be talented in a skill...for example...calvin..my idol!!! hahahaha!!
characteristic...i will never ever be with a aquarius,gemini nor virgo..is totally out of my list...we just dont suit..totally!!!! i love my own species - water sign horoscope (:
maturity...i need a guy who is mature enough to plan and save for future...instead of spending every single money on unnecessary stuff...i understand for those who are working, they have the ability to spend..what i mean is not to spend ALL...it is good to save money..it shows the guy is responsible and can handle his own finance..i need not worry about his finance (:

i guess i already reach the life stage whereby i have been thru alot of stuffs...
i m no longer the lil girl who wanted to depend on a guy totally...im independent enough to survive by myself...a guy? bonus i guess..
i m no longer the naive girl who believe love exist forever and get into relationship whether proper thinking...i will think of future and heed my parents advice..
i m no longer the daydreaming girl who wanted to marry at young age...i will complete my studies at 23/24 and going to work hard and be a manager before the age of 30. i will meet and be with a guy with the same status as me. (:

hmm..
guess this is what im gg to achieve and my aim~! (: