SUPPER CLUB
It was a saturday night…we are having exams and i have to wake up at 7 reach b4 8.45am.
This month i guess i have been OT-ing so much…
anyway…after work..i met moley…i realli thanked her for being there for me always..realli touched..
thats y i treat her eat..haha…no la…but i realli felt cared from my this dear gd friend…she is really a great friend…
Anyway, after eating chatting, telling stories as well as recommending her the book. We went to meet my brother and friends…
Din expect so many of them going..kinda surprise but glad..at least is one big group…
So ladies free entry and free housepour till 11pm..
FIRST time in my life i got the courage to drink tequila…I always dun dare to drink bcuz they say it is quite strong and will burn ur throat…but i think all these are bullshit now becuz i dun feel that. It only make me feel warm. I duno y…but i cant get drunk..I realli drink alot..i tried to drink and drink…i even drink chivas on the rock…1st time! I keep telling them I din have enuff and they keep asking me to drink…but it realli din get me drunk..haix…tequila,rum,chivas..no effect…haix…
Martians value power, competency, efficiency, and achievement. They are always doing things to prove themselves and develop their power and skills. Their sense of self is defined through their ability to achieve results. They experience fulfilment primarily through success and accomplishment.
Achieving goals is very important to a Martian because it is a way for him to prove his competence and thus feel good about himself. And for him to feel good about himself he must achieve these goals by himself. Someone else can’t achieve them for them. Martians pride themselves in doing things all by themselves. Autonomy is a symbol of efficiency, power and competence.
Understanding this Martian characteristic can help women understand why men resist so much being corrected or being told what to do. To offer a man unsolicited advice is to presume that he doesn’t know what to do or that he can’t do it on his own. Men are very touch about this because the issue of competence is so very important to them.
Because he is handling his problems on his own, a Martian rarely talks about his problems unless he needs expert advice.He keeps his problems to himself unless he requires help from another to find a solution.Another Martian feels honoured by the opportunity. Automatically he puts on his Mr.Fix-It hat,listens for a while, and then offers some jewels of advice.
This Martian custom is one of the reasons men instinctively offer solutions when women talk about problems. When a woman innocently shares upset feelings or explores out loud the problems of her day, a man mistakenly assumes she is looking for some expert advice. He puts on his Mr.Fix-It hat and begin giving advice;this is his way of showing love and of trying to help.
He wants to help her feel better by solving her problems.He wants to be useful to her. He feels he can be valued and thus worthy of her love when his abilities are used to solve her problems.
Once he has offered a solution,however,and she continues to be upset it becomes increasingly difficult for him to listen because his solution is being rejected and he feels increasingly useless.
He has no idea that by just listening with empathy and interest he can be supportive.
Venusians have different values. They value love, communication,beauty, and relationships. They spend a lot of time supporting,helping and nurturing one another.Communication is of primary importance. To share their personal feeling is much more important than achieving gaols and success. Talking and relating to one another is a source of tremendous fulfilment.
This is hard for a man to comprehend. Two Martians go to lunch to discuss a project or business goal; they have a problem to solve. In addition, Martians view going to a restaurant as an efficient way to approach food: no shopping,no cooking, and no washing dishes. For Venusians, going to lunch is an opportunity to nurture a relationship, for both giving support to and receiving support from a friend. Women’s restaurant talk can be very open and intimate, almost like the dialogue that occurs between therapist and patient.
On Venus, everyone studies psychology and has at least a master’s degree in counselling. They pride themselves in being considerate of the needs and feelings of others. A sign of great love is to offer help and assistance to another Venusians without being asked.On Venus it is a sign of caring to give advice and suggestions. Venusians firmly believe that when something is working it can always work better. Their nature is to want to improve things. When they care about someone, they freely point out what can be improved and suggest how to do it. Offering advice and constructive criticism is an act of love.
Mars is very different. Martians are more solution oriented.If something is working, their motto is don’t change it. Their instinct is to leave it alone if it is working. “Don’t fix it unless it is broken” is common expression.
When a woman tries to improve a man, he feels she is trying to fix him. He receives the message that he is broken. She doesn’t realize her caring attempts to help him may humiliate him. She mistakenly thinks she is just helping him to grow.
How men react when women need to talk
When women talk about problems, men usually resist. A man assumes she is talking with him about her problems because she is holding him responsible. The more problems, the more he feels blamed. He does not realize that she is talking to feel better. A man doesn’t know that she will appreciate it if he just listens.
Martians talk about problems for only 2 reasons : they are blaming someone or they are seeking advice. If a woman is really upset a man assumes she is blaming him. If she seems less upset, then he assumes she is asking for advice.
If he assumes she is asking for advice, then he puts on his Mr. Fix-It hat to solve her problems. If he assumes she is blaming him, then he draws his sword to protect himself from attack. In both cases, he soon finds it difficult to listen.
If he offers solutions to her problems, she just continues talking about more problems. After offering 2 or3 solutions, he expects he to feel better. This is because Martians themselves feel better with solutions, as long as they have asked for a solution to be offered. When she doesn’t feel better, he feels his solution have been rejected, and he feels unappreciated.
On the other hand, if he feels attacked, then he begins to defend himself. He thinks if he explains himself that she will stop blaming him. The more he defends himself,however, the more upset she becomes. He doesn’t realize that explanations are not what she needs. She needs him to understand her feelings and let her move on to talk about more problems. If he is wise and just listens, then a few moments after she is complaining about him, she will change the subject and talk about other problems as well.