Just now after work meet elis..
but she is late cuz of her work so i went to kino to see see look look….
den while i was browsing thru the shelves…i found this book which i always wanted to read : Men are from Mars Women are from Venus.
I flipped thru abit and i bought it.
On my way back…sitting in the train…I decided to read the book..
So i started to read it…IT IS SO DAMN TRUE! i shall quote some out!
“Women have the same complaints about men and their husbands. These common complaints were very different from the complaints men had.
Men would often complain : She is making a big deal out of nothing;she is over-reacting;she is withholding sex; or she is unreasonable. And then when a man was considering divorce his common statement was : ‘No matter what I do it is not enough to make her happy’.Instead women would often complain: He doesn’t listen;he is inattentive;he is no longer romantic;he doesn’t complement me;he is less affectionate; or he is self-centered. This is a far cry from a man’s basic frustration that his wife is just not happy and as a result he feels like giving up.”
This is the story of the author :
A week after our daughter Lauren was born,my wife,Bonnie, and I were completely exhausted. Each night Lauren kept waking us. Bonnie had been torn in the delivery and was taking painkillers. She could barely walk. After 5 days of staying home to help, I went back to work. She seemed to be getting better.
While I was away she ran out of pain pills. Instead of calling me at the office, she asked one of my brothers, who was visiting , to purchase more. My brother, however, did not return with the pills. Consequently, se spent the whole day in pain, taking care of a newborn.
I had no idea that her day had been so awful. When i retuned home she was very upset. I misinterpreted the cause of her distress and thought she was blaming me.
She said, “I’ve been in pain all day..I ran out of pills.I’ve been stranded in bed and nobody cares!”
I said defensively, “Why didn’t you call me?”
She said,“I asked your brother, but her forgot! I’ve been waiting for him to return all day. What am I supposed to do?I can barely walk. I feel so deserted!”
At this point I exploded. My fuse was also very short that day.I was angry that she hadn’t called me.I was furious that she was blaming me when I didn’t even know she was in pain. After exchanging a few harsh words, I headed for the door. I was tired, irritable, and had heard enough. We had both reached out limits.
Then something started to happen that would change my life.
Bonnie said.“Stop,please don’t leave. This is when I need you the most. I’m in pain.I haven’t slept in days.Please listen to me.”
I stopped for a moment to listen.
She said,“John Gray, you’re a fair-weather friend! As long as I’m sweet, loving Bonnie you are here for me, but as soon as I’m not,you walk right out that door.”
Then she paused, and her eyes filled up with tears. As her tone shifted she said, “Right now I’m in pain.I have nothing to give, this is when I need you the most.Please come over her e and hold me. You don’t have to say anything. I just need to feel your arms around me. Please don’t go.”
At the moment I started to realize the real meaning of love-unconditional love. I had always though of myself as a loving person. But she was right. I had been a fair-weather friend. As long as she was happy and nice, I loved back. But if she was unhappy or upset, I would feel blamed and then argue or distance myself.
That day, for the first time, I didn’t leave her. I stayed, and it felt great. I succeeded in giving to her when she really needed me. This felt like real love. Caring for another person. Trusting in our love. Being there at her hour of need. I marveled at how easy it was for me to support her when I was shown the way.
Nice story ya?More,
“The most frequently expressed complaint women have about men is that men don’t listen. Either a man completely ignores her when she speaks to him, or he listens for a few beats, assesses what is bothering her, and then proudly puts on his Mr. Fix-It cap and offers her a solution to make her feel better. He is confused when she doesn’t appreciate this gesture of love. No matter how many times she tells him that he’s not listening, he doesn’t get it and keeps doing the same thing. She want empathy, but he thinks she wants solutions.
The most frequently expressed complaint men have about women is that women are always trying to change them. When a woman loves a man she feels responsible to assist him in growing and tries to help him improve the way he does things. She forms a home-improvement committee, and he becomes her primary focus,No matter how much he resists her help,she persists – waiting for any opportunity to help him or tell him what to do. She thinks she’s nurturing him, while he feels he’s being controlled. Instead, he want her acceptance.”
TRUE?is damn fucking true!
I cant help but continue reading the book!
Seriously, i salute to this author and his wife…is really damn damn true..
This is the best best book I ever read. Seriously show out how woman and man thinks differently and even provide the solutions.
BEST BOOK!!!!