i guess my sore throat is not gg to recover any sooner..
i tot it is gg to be ok..
but i went for a drink again..
there goes my throat again..

ytd went to wei giat there drink with bob mh they all..
play some silly drinking games..
was cursing and swearing..
then mh and christy came to my hse..hahaha..
make me miss those time when we overnight at yiru house all those..
really miss those days..
but i m happy that they overnight my house..
i miss this kind of feeling..
small talk and chat between girl friends...i miss this kind of feeling..
i just love it when there is someone who can listen to my problem..my feeling..
is what i need..

hais..
just feeling emo at times..
but i guess..i m doing the right thing..
i just wish that you are happy..
although imdd..but
i will let it be memories..

seriously i m pissed off!!!
wtf is this...wtf wtf wtf!!!!!
ytd my gor come back..told me tt he and kailin break le..
and the reason is..she lik another guy..
nvm..
the worst part is..2 mths ago they are discussing about engagement..
they wanted to get engage in this coming September..
wtf is this..
she said it 2 mths ago and after that she go with another guy????
and she even told her friends she and my gor are just friends....
just friends...just friends and get engage????!!!!!!!!
wtf!!!!!

1st time..i see my gor cried in front of me..
1st time!!!!!!!
how heartpain is this!!!
i nv see him cried lik this b4!!
for this 21 years..i nv see him cried lik this b4!!!!!
and this fucking bitch make my gor cried..
fuck up..seriously fuck up!!!!

still have the cheeks to ask my brother why he so unfriendly to her now..
WTF??!!!!
pls....use her fucking dumb brain to think!!!!!!!!!
ARGHHHHHHH!!!!!

suddenly i dont have the feeling of working..
the feeling of studying...
the feeling of learning car liscense..
just feel lik resting...

where is the motivation???!!!!!!!!!!

i m feeling so sick now!!!!
hais..

seriously
i m deeply disappointed..

who m i in ur heart?
just someone extra?
just someone who u can talk to when u r free and ignore when you are busy with her..
i m sorry
but i feel damn pain
i feel disappointed..
i feel unimportant..
i feel unloved...

who m i?

i dont know wad happen..
i dont know wad to do...
i dont know....


i dont like to make decision...
yes i wan u to be happy...
but i wan us to be happy tgt...
but i noe is not just between u and me..


yes i admit..
i m selfish..i dont wan to share anymore..
i just dont want..
i only wan the memories between u n me..just u n me..


but i know u will not choose me...
i got no position to fight for anything..or rather fight with her..
who m i to do that?
so i back out..
yes i m coward...
i noe i will not win..i surrender i give up...
tts all i can do...
=(

a day passed..

was trying so hard to look happy..
i wanted to tell someone about it..
but who can i talk to..
i realli feel like telling mh...hais..
seriously need to say out wad i wanna say out..
but just..
hais..

i keep making mistakes today..
date nv write, print wrong, attach wrong...
everything is just so wrong today..
wtf happen to me..
i just hate it..
hate it..

guess i m just not the one..

i she bu de..
but wad can i do..
to let go or to hold on..
letting go is not easy...
letting people havin your loved one is not easy..
i am not the one who is able to be really tt selfish..
i m sorry..i just cant be tt selfish..
but i m getting greedy...
i wan more..more than wad i suppose to have..
i m getting out of hand..
i know i am not suppose to be lik tt..
i m not her..

i guess i just have to leave..
u will be happier without worrying about me..
without having headaches..

i have lost everything in april..
i hate april.