2010 New Year
100 memories to be erased
u said break up is a 2-person thing but u made the decision and left me behind crying like a free flow tap water.
wad m i suppose to do?
bullshit
time to hit alcohol!
seriously i need alcohol…
its time to hit butter!!!!!!!!
lets wait till ladies night…hmmmm
NICE FOOD!!
weee~~
just came back from the kinda company dinner…
IS SUPER FULL AND NICE!!!
IS BUFFETTTT!!!
the sashimi..the oyster..the scallop…the chilli crab..waaa….it spoil my diet plan totally…but WORTH IT..
somemore is free…HAHAHAHA…just eat only…
the funny thing is…my camera cannot detect gabriel..HAHAHA…SO FUNNY!!
i was helping ashley and gabby to take photo..den kelly was beside me and say waa..got face detection..eh..cannot detect gabriel face…LOL…
i laugh non-stop la!!!HAHHAHA…cuz gabby is too dark..my camera racist…HAHAHAH…
anyway..after the dinner…went to kbox with jinle sunbae,edlina and edwin…
walao..the tibits is 7bucks per bowl…so exp la!i keep tell edwin to eat the 7 bucks tibits..cuz is too exp le..AHHAHA…
waa..now i still super full lo…super nice de food!!hee..manage to take some picture…weewee…
anyway..
haix..still so emo la!!!cant help ittttttttt…..!!!!
i tried my best le!
i realli tried!!
i tried to ignore him i tried to stop thinking i tried to be happy…
but my mind keep thinking about endless stuff..i keep looking at the neoprints..i keep thinking…
i keep wondering whether he got miss me got think of me got shebude me…..
this is realli fuck up!!$*$^&$%&%^*&^(&*
i realli hate this kind of feeling…
the world is small
not long ago…realised that calvin’s brother is qi er!
OMG la!
is like..the most shocking news in 2009! is like a small world lo..
Qi er tell yanping his brother is hair stylist…but nv know is my god –calvin!!
anyway…
ytd spend xmas eve with rachael and huijun after my work..
LOL..surprising i got a xmas pressie from yunita!..hees..
anyway..i finally got a BLACK bag…
I WAN WHITE BAGGGG!!…
I wanna change my heels le..time to throw all and get new one..is a new year wad!
is also time to clear my cupboard…is like..so full la…i practically is use throw and dig…-.-''
anyway..at night..gor de friends all came to our house to celebrate…
as usual play MJ..but one more interesting thing is WII!!!!
cuz kailin got ma..so she bring over and we can play…LOL..seriously is realli veri tiring…
my hand is like handicap today la!!..the arm is super suan one lo…
but is fun la..it makes u sweat like mad oso..HAHAHAHA!!
anyway..ytd they all so scared cuz..jinhong coming and xinmei dunno..and tom hate him..waaa..complicated relationship la!!!
but in the end nth happen..so…SAFE!
anyway..THX MR JINHONG FOR THE PRESSIE!!hahahaha…
din expect it..cuz i was only joking with him for the present..but..YEAH!!..he gave me!!HAHAHAHAH..
anyway..we played twister at the midnight..is like…YOGA la!…stretch to MAX!…and my stupid gor gor keep push me…HAHAHA!!!…wtf…
anyway..is a nice day..
just tt something is missing…
nvm..get use to it ba edyna!
i think i became worse…i cant treat someone seriously now..i duno y…haix..
black xmas
back to square one..
I HATE XMAS..
i understand the story
Today I was telling gabby about this story i saw in John Gray book…
The Knight in Shining Armour
Deep inside every man there is a hero or a knight in shining armour. More than anything, he wants to succeed in serving and protecting the woman he loves. When he feels trusted, he is able to tap into this noble part of himself. He becomes more caring. When he doesn’t feel trusted he loses some of his aliveness and energy, and after a while he can stop caring.
Imagine a knight in shining armour travelling through the countryside. Suddenly he hears a woman crying out in distress. In an instant he comes alive. Urging his horse to a gallop he races to her castle, where she is trapped by a dragon.The noble knight pulls out his sword and slays the dragon. As a result, he is lovingly received by the princess.
As the gates open he is welcomed and celebrated by the family of the princess and the townspeople. He is invited to live in the town and acknowleged as a hero. He and the princess fall in love.
A month later the noble knight goes off on another trip. On his way back, he hears beloved princess crying out for help. Another dragon has attacked the castle. When the knight arrives he pulls out his sword to slay the dragon.
Before he swings, the princess cries out from the tower,”Don’t use your sword, use this noose, It will work better.”
She throws him the noose and motions to him instructions about how to use it. He hesitantly follows her instructions. He wraps it around the dragon’s neck and then pulls hard. The dragon dies and everyone rejoices.
At the celebration dinner the knight feels he didn’t really do anything. Somehow, because he used her noose and didn’t use his sword, he doesn’t quite feel worthy of the town’s trust and admiration. After the event he is slightly depressed and forgets to shine his armour.
A month later he goes on yet another trip. As he leaves with his sword, the princess reminds him to be careful and tells him to take the noose. On his way home, he sees yet another dragon attacking the castle. This time he rushes forward with his sword but hesitates, thinking maybe he should use the noose. In that moment of hesitation, the dragon breathes fire and burns his right arm.In confusion he looks up and sees his princess waving from the castle window.
“Use the poison,” she yelled. “The noose doesn’t work.”
She throws him the poison, which he pours into the dragon’s mouth, and the dragon dies. Everyone rejoices and celebrates, but the knight feels ashamed.
A month later, he goes on another trip. As he leaves with his sword, the princess reminds him to be careful, and to bring the noose and the poison. He is annoyed by her suggestions but brings them just in case.
This time on his journey he hears another woman in distress. As he rushes to her call, his depression is lifted and he feels confident and alive. But as he draws his sword to slay the dragon, he again hesitates. He wonders, should I use my sword, the noose, or the poison? What would the princess say?
For a moment he is confused. But then he remembers how he had felt before he knew the princess, back in the days when he only carried a sword. With a burst of renewed confidence he throws off the noose and poison and charges the dragon with his trusted sword. He slays the dragon and the townspeople rejoice.
The knight in shining armour never returned to his princess. He stayed in this new village and lived happily ever after. He eventually married , but only after making sure his new partner knew nothing about noose and poisons.
This is really sad, I realised what I have done to him. I realised I am worse than the princess. I gave him weapons which I thought is helpful and better. In contrast, making him confuse,making him fear and……
making him to leave me……
hope that he will find someone who know nothing about noose and poisons……
SUPPER CLUB
It was a saturday night…we are having exams and i have to wake up at 7 reach b4 8.45am.
This month i guess i have been OT-ing so much…
anyway…after work..i met moley…i realli thanked her for being there for me always..realli touched..
thats y i treat her eat..haha…no la…but i realli felt cared from my this dear gd friend…she is really a great friend…
Anyway, after eating chatting, telling stories as well as recommending her the book. We went to meet my brother and friends…
Din expect so many of them going..kinda surprise but glad..at least is one big group…
So ladies free entry and free housepour till 11pm..
FIRST time in my life i got the courage to drink tequila…I always dun dare to drink bcuz they say it is quite strong and will burn ur throat…but i think all these are bullshit now becuz i dun feel that. It only make me feel warm. I duno y…but i cant get drunk..I realli drink alot..i tried to drink and drink…i even drink chivas on the rock…1st time! I keep telling them I din have enuff and they keep asking me to drink…but it realli din get me drunk..haix…tequila,rum,chivas..no effect…haix…
Martians value power, competency, efficiency, and achievement. They are always doing things to prove themselves and develop their power and skills. Their sense of self is defined through their ability to achieve results. They experience fulfilment primarily through success and accomplishment.
Achieving goals is very important to a Martian because it is a way for him to prove his competence and thus feel good about himself. And for him to feel good about himself he must achieve these goals by himself. Someone else can’t achieve them for them. Martians pride themselves in doing things all by themselves. Autonomy is a symbol of efficiency, power and competence.
Understanding this Martian characteristic can help women understand why men resist so much being corrected or being told what to do. To offer a man unsolicited advice is to presume that he doesn’t know what to do or that he can’t do it on his own. Men are very touch about this because the issue of competence is so very important to them.
Because he is handling his problems on his own, a Martian rarely talks about his problems unless he needs expert advice.He keeps his problems to himself unless he requires help from another to find a solution.Another Martian feels honoured by the opportunity. Automatically he puts on his Mr.Fix-It hat,listens for a while, and then offers some jewels of advice.
This Martian custom is one of the reasons men instinctively offer solutions when women talk about problems. When a woman innocently shares upset feelings or explores out loud the problems of her day, a man mistakenly assumes she is looking for some expert advice. He puts on his Mr.Fix-It hat and begin giving advice;this is his way of showing love and of trying to help.
He wants to help her feel better by solving her problems.He wants to be useful to her. He feels he can be valued and thus worthy of her love when his abilities are used to solve her problems.
Once he has offered a solution,however,and she continues to be upset it becomes increasingly difficult for him to listen because his solution is being rejected and he feels increasingly useless.
He has no idea that by just listening with empathy and interest he can be supportive.
Venusians have different values. They value love, communication,beauty, and relationships. They spend a lot of time supporting,helping and nurturing one another.Communication is of primary importance. To share their personal feeling is much more important than achieving gaols and success. Talking and relating to one another is a source of tremendous fulfilment.
This is hard for a man to comprehend. Two Martians go to lunch to discuss a project or business goal; they have a problem to solve. In addition, Martians view going to a restaurant as an efficient way to approach food: no shopping,no cooking, and no washing dishes. For Venusians, going to lunch is an opportunity to nurture a relationship, for both giving support to and receiving support from a friend. Women’s restaurant talk can be very open and intimate, almost like the dialogue that occurs between therapist and patient.
On Venus, everyone studies psychology and has at least a master’s degree in counselling. They pride themselves in being considerate of the needs and feelings of others. A sign of great love is to offer help and assistance to another Venusians without being asked.On Venus it is a sign of caring to give advice and suggestions. Venusians firmly believe that when something is working it can always work better. Their nature is to want to improve things. When they care about someone, they freely point out what can be improved and suggest how to do it. Offering advice and constructive criticism is an act of love.
Mars is very different. Martians are more solution oriented.If something is working, their motto is don’t change it. Their instinct is to leave it alone if it is working. “Don’t fix it unless it is broken” is common expression.
When a woman tries to improve a man, he feels she is trying to fix him. He receives the message that he is broken. She doesn’t realize her caring attempts to help him may humiliate him. She mistakenly thinks she is just helping him to grow.
How men react when women need to talk
When women talk about problems, men usually resist. A man assumes she is talking with him about her problems because she is holding him responsible. The more problems, the more he feels blamed. He does not realize that she is talking to feel better. A man doesn’t know that she will appreciate it if he just listens.
Martians talk about problems for only 2 reasons : they are blaming someone or they are seeking advice. If a woman is really upset a man assumes she is blaming him. If she seems less upset, then he assumes she is asking for advice.
If he assumes she is asking for advice, then he puts on his Mr. Fix-It hat to solve her problems. If he assumes she is blaming him, then he draws his sword to protect himself from attack. In both cases, he soon finds it difficult to listen.
If he offers solutions to her problems, she just continues talking about more problems. After offering 2 or3 solutions, he expects he to feel better. This is because Martians themselves feel better with solutions, as long as they have asked for a solution to be offered. When she doesn’t feel better, he feels his solution have been rejected, and he feels unappreciated.
On the other hand, if he feels attacked, then he begins to defend himself. He thinks if he explains himself that she will stop blaming him. The more he defends himself,however, the more upset she becomes. He doesn’t realize that explanations are not what she needs. She needs him to understand her feelings and let her move on to talk about more problems. If he is wise and just listens, then a few moments after she is complaining about him, she will change the subject and talk about other problems as well.
stop crying
can i stop crying?
Best book recommended for both genders : Men are from MARS women are from VENUS
Just now after work meet elis..
but she is late cuz of her work so i went to kino to see see look look….
den while i was browsing thru the shelves…i found this book which i always wanted to read : Men are from Mars Women are from Venus.
I flipped thru abit and i bought it.
On my way back…sitting in the train…I decided to read the book..
So i started to read it…IT IS SO DAMN TRUE! i shall quote some out!
“Women have the same complaints about men and their husbands. These common complaints were very different from the complaints men had.
Men would often complain : She is making a big deal out of nothing;she is over-reacting;she is withholding sex; or she is unreasonable. And then when a man was considering divorce his common statement was : ‘No matter what I do it is not enough to make her happy’.Instead women would often complain: He doesn’t listen;he is inattentive;he is no longer romantic;he doesn’t complement me;he is less affectionate; or he is self-centered. This is a far cry from a man’s basic frustration that his wife is just not happy and as a result he feels like giving up.”
This is the story of the author :
A week after our daughter Lauren was born,my wife,Bonnie, and I were completely exhausted. Each night Lauren kept waking us. Bonnie had been torn in the delivery and was taking painkillers. She could barely walk. After 5 days of staying home to help, I went back to work. She seemed to be getting better.
While I was away she ran out of pain pills. Instead of calling me at the office, she asked one of my brothers, who was visiting , to purchase more. My brother, however, did not return with the pills. Consequently, se spent the whole day in pain, taking care of a newborn.
I had no idea that her day had been so awful. When i retuned home she was very upset. I misinterpreted the cause of her distress and thought she was blaming me.
She said, “I’ve been in pain all day..I ran out of pills.I’ve been stranded in bed and nobody cares!”
I said defensively, “Why didn’t you call me?”
She said,“I asked your brother, but her forgot! I’ve been waiting for him to return all day. What am I supposed to do?I can barely walk. I feel so deserted!”
At this point I exploded. My fuse was also very short that day.I was angry that she hadn’t called me.I was furious that she was blaming me when I didn’t even know she was in pain. After exchanging a few harsh words, I headed for the door. I was tired, irritable, and had heard enough. We had both reached out limits.
Then something started to happen that would change my life.
Bonnie said.“Stop,please don’t leave. This is when I need you the most. I’m in pain.I haven’t slept in days.Please listen to me.”
I stopped for a moment to listen.
She said,“John Gray, you’re a fair-weather friend! As long as I’m sweet, loving Bonnie you are here for me, but as soon as I’m not,you walk right out that door.”
Then she paused, and her eyes filled up with tears. As her tone shifted she said, “Right now I’m in pain.I have nothing to give, this is when I need you the most.Please come over her e and hold me. You don’t have to say anything. I just need to feel your arms around me. Please don’t go.”
At the moment I started to realize the real meaning of love-unconditional love. I had always though of myself as a loving person. But she was right. I had been a fair-weather friend. As long as she was happy and nice, I loved back. But if she was unhappy or upset, I would feel blamed and then argue or distance myself.
That day, for the first time, I didn’t leave her. I stayed, and it felt great. I succeeded in giving to her when she really needed me. This felt like real love. Caring for another person. Trusting in our love. Being there at her hour of need. I marveled at how easy it was for me to support her when I was shown the way.
Nice story ya?More,
“The most frequently expressed complaint women have about men is that men don’t listen. Either a man completely ignores her when she speaks to him, or he listens for a few beats, assesses what is bothering her, and then proudly puts on his Mr. Fix-It cap and offers her a solution to make her feel better. He is confused when she doesn’t appreciate this gesture of love. No matter how many times she tells him that he’s not listening, he doesn’t get it and keeps doing the same thing. She want empathy, but he thinks she wants solutions.
The most frequently expressed complaint men have about women is that women are always trying to change them. When a woman loves a man she feels responsible to assist him in growing and tries to help him improve the way he does things. She forms a home-improvement committee, and he becomes her primary focus,No matter how much he resists her help,she persists – waiting for any opportunity to help him or tell him what to do. She thinks she’s nurturing him, while he feels he’s being controlled. Instead, he want her acceptance.”
TRUE?is damn fucking true!
I cant help but continue reading the book!
Seriously, i salute to this author and his wife…is really damn damn true..
This is the best best book I ever read. Seriously show out how woman and man thinks differently and even provide the solutions.
BEST BOOK!!!!
Targets!~~
working life~
Yiru,Edwin
Definitely your will read my blog one…
ANNOUNCEMENT : I AM BACK TO SINGLES’ CLUB!!!
it is so sad tt yiru is not here la!!! so edwin…it is time to go club with ram they all and drink like nobody business!!
please jio me go drink…i m free anytime~
anyway…have to thx my dear gabby!!!
he is the best colleague i ever had!!!maybe he is a pisces?AHAHA…
I definitely believe in horoscope more now!!..seriously these are the horo that i cannot be with and it is so fucking true…i always said i believe in the end still go try and end up get bitten..WTF?…GEMINI,AQUARIUS and SAGGITARUS is out of my world. If yanping read my blog she sure agree on the saggi part…hahaha…i will NEVER EVER believe in wad mutated horo? BULLSHIT! anyway “bullshit” become my common saying now…cuz i just left a bullshitter…and the whole day i have been saying bullshit to gab whenever there is something wrong…anyway..i wanted to thx him so much la!!!! he make me feel so much better for the whole day!!THX GABBBB!!
seriously i really cannot believe it myself…I consider think alot before the r/s…normally it took me one day to be with someone..my friends should know me…but..this time i tried to like understand the person more before getting together..but it is still the same..i think my contact lens is not working well huh…4mths is not enuff to know somebody…I choose him instead of ah mie or kingsley cuz i tot i chose the right one..Apparently, it is wrong again…why m i always choosing the wrong one??? I choose someone who cheat me, who is so irresponsible, who is so humji, who is so not romantic bla bla bla…overall..one word FAKE. i cant believe myself to get into a FAKE relationship,though it is a new experience. AND MR RAYYAN AFFAN! pls take note that not everyone are like you who is able to talk things out, some people u talk nicely to him in the end you get arrow straight to your heart. seriously, he is worse than the 4th one. Still thinking that i can never find someone like his character?…i think the whole street of guys are same as him. is those very typical despo guy who will be with u honeymoon for 3mths. and to think that i even wanted to top-up his master plan..phew..it is worse than throwing the money into the sea. it is not the money matter..is the heart that matter..i will rather throw my heart away than to let him have it.
My gor say it is so fucking rare for me to give in and ta-da! this is the results of giving in.
I SWEAR I WILL NEVER EVER FUCKING GIVE IN AGAIN.
shit..it is 2.50am now..time to slp!
going homeeeeee~~!!!
working~
changes..
have been posting blog recently…haha..too free i guess…
indirectly teaching edwin some chinese huh…
but i m posting this in english!!!edwin wait for the nt post then~!HAHA…
anyway..
today is like hectic la!!!
tat fucking adrian ho give me one full stack of presentation to key in…
i key until ki-siao lo…work until like 8pm!!WTF…
my eyes almost pop out like popper..
well..but is better la..at least i have somethings to do..if not i will be thinking of damn lot of fucking things…
it is good to be tired…cuz u will forget everything…once u rest…u will be thinking alot of stuff like wad i m doing now…BLOGGING!!
have been half-concious ytd night..flippings and turnings..and some blurry dreams…
have been thinking abt the past…5 years ago…when i was still a small lil girl…when i m dreaming abt fairytale…when i m hoping tt i m snow white..wahaha…
sometimes when u think back…there are alot of things u did not realise until u had go thru everything…
i always said that guys are the same…every 3 mths are honeymoon and after tt…is the true colour…or rather guys started to lose patience and slowly lessen the effort they put in…they will become less sensitive,less caring and sometimes even find u irritating or unreasonable or so…
i always tot nv in my life i will meet a guy tt is not like tt…but hey…when i think back..wad i realised is…my first love did not!!omg…i felt so shock when i m reminiscing ytd whole night…i realise all the while “my 2 rules” applies..hahaha…but too bad…we just dun suit each other…but hey..he proved me wrong..and all the while i tot i was right!but well…maybe he is the odd one..hahaha…
anyway…shall i stop my habits???
everytime i got a bf..i will tell all my friends how good he is bla bla bla…
but everytime when i say finish…nt moment he changes…
just like few days ago…i was telling moley abt some good stuff abt him..if my friends know me well..they noe i wun badmouth my bf…
but like wad i have said…nt moment he changes…
should i be sad or should i be disappointed or should i get used to it?
i lost the bf i had 4 months ago~ the one who will wait for me outside my house or workplace…the one who will apologise to me no matter wad…the one who will try his best to make me smile..the one who will not make me sad…where is he? he is LOST…eaten by the dinosaur i guess…but should i get used to it?cuz this is not the 1st bf i lost…the dinosaur must be veri full..it can eat up my bf every 4mth or 8mth..seems like a routine or a curse to me…cant the dinosaur starve for like 1 yr?fatty dinosaur…
sometimes not i wanna blame ppl or push the blame to someone else…but can u imagine..when u go to ur bf birthday party and u r not introduced to his friends or relatives at all…how will u feel…i guess not tt good huh…plus u had a quarrel with ur bf the day b4 the party…u still have to go to the party for god sake and put up a smiley face no matter how bad ur mood is…anyone can tell me i m in the wrong?
haha…still rmb the times b4 he was eaten by the dinosaur..he told me he will always be there for me..he told me he will always apologise to me..he told me i m the most important…NOPE..NEGATIVE..i felt NTH now…i felt stupid to believe sweet talks like this…i tot i m immune to it..but apparently no..but i shall take a vaccine and be immune to any sweet talk from now on…
WORK TML AGAIN!!
知道失望是什么吗？
我举一个例子来说：当一个小孩子的冰淇淋掉在地板时，大声地哭，这个叫伤心。他的冰淇淋又掉在地板时，大声地叫，这个叫生气。当他的冰淇淋又在一次掉在地板时，不哭不叫却默默地走掉，这个就叫失望。
一个好好的冰淇淋为什么会一次又一次地掉在地板上？是否根本不应该拥有这个冰淇淋？
如果没有冰淇淋，就没有失望。
没有这么大的希望，就没有这么大的失望。
有时候真的觉得自己很笨，经历那么多次，经验那么多，为什么还是不明白，为什么还是学不乖？
开始有点怀念那时潇洒的梁凯媛。那个完全不相信男人的梁凯媛，那个敢爱敢恨的梁凯媛，那个不让自己心碎的梁凯媛。。。
为什么我越来越脆弱，我不想做回那个笨蛋双鱼座。
天下男人都是一样的。
就如我亲生哥哥，爸爸也是这样。
绝世好男人早已经在100万年前死了。
既然没有绝世好男人，为何执著着一个人？
既然都是一样的，不如见一个换一个。
那样的生活，也许不会那么伤人。